Thursday, October 18, 2007

40 Amusing "facts" about Linus Torvalds

  • Linus Torvalds can do an infinite loop in five seconds... in his head.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't wear glasses anymore not because he had laser eye surgery, but because he finally got his xorg.conf properly configured in his head.
  • Linus Torvalds can use a nice level lower than -20.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't need to mount his drives.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't debug. His programs are always perfect.
  • Linus Torvalds can install Linux on a dead badger.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't need backups. He just uploads his files and lets the world mirror them.
  • Linus Torvalds is taking over the world. Microsoft is just a deversion so that no one would suspect a mild mannered Finnish programmer.
  • Linus Torvalds can run kill -9 and kill Chuck Norris.
  • Linus Torvalds already has Linux 3.0. He is just keeping it to himself to build suspense.
  • Linus Torvalds didn't design Linux to run on the 386. Intel designed the 386 to run Linux.
  • People pray to Jesus, but Jesus prays to Linus Torvalds.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't die, he simply returns zero.
  • Linus Torvalds once found a segmentation fault in the universe.
  • Linus Torvalds runs Linux on his wristwatch and toster.
  • Linus Torvalds only has 2 buttons on his keyboard '1' and '0'
  • Linus Torvalds can write to ntfs.
  • Linus Torvalds can install Gentoo in under a week
  • Linus Torvalds is more powerful than root.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't need anti-virus software. Virii need anti-linus software.
  • If you could read Linus Torvald's mind, you'd find that his stream of conciousness is entirely in binary.
  • Linus Torvalds scared A and B away, so they had to make C.
  • Linus is REAL unless declared INTEGER.
  • There are no man pages for Linus Torvalds, only god pages.
  • Code:
    linus@debtux:~$ apt-cache search sudo
    linus@debtux:~$
  • Linus Torvalds takes one look at your desktop and knows which porn sites you visited. In the last ten years.
  • Being touched by Linus can cure carpal tunnel syndrome. He does not cure RMS because he thinks it's funny to listen to RMS dictating code for the HURD.
  • On the first day Linus said ".configure"
    On the second day he said "make"
    On the third day he said "make install"
    And on the fourth day there was Linux, and Linus saw that it was kick ***, because it wasn't Windows.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't push the flush toilet button. He simply says "make clean".
  • When Linus Torvalds writes new software, he just makes punch cards with his teeth and feeds them into a reader.
  • Linus Torvalds source codes complie themselfs.
  • Linus Torvalds surfs the web using nothing but netcat
  • Linus Torvalds can play 3D games in his head by interpreting the source code in real-time.
  • Linus Torvalds can program without a keyboard.
  • Linus Torvalds didin't learn from the University of Helsinki the University of Helsinki learned from Linus Torvalds.
  • Linus Torvalds finished the Linux Kernel the day before he started on it.
  • Linus Torvalds once developed a programming language so good that it makes python look like punch cards.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't need to boot.
  • Linus Torvalds first written program had artificial intelligence.
  • Linus Torvalds doesn't receive error messages.

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45 comments:

Daniel said...

That made me lol

Oleg Smetanin said...

Some of them made me lol too ;)

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Nice list! It's time to open site www.linustorvaldsfacts.com like www.chucknorrisfacts.com :)
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decentralist.wordpress.com said...

Too much filler. Should have been 15 instead of 40. Should have been his wife who can kill Chuck Norris.

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Please don't take credit for work that you stole on an internet forum. I wrote many of these facts and I'd appreciate it if they weren't stolen without some sort of link or at the very least, you mention that you had gotten them from another source. Thank you.

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