Thursday, October 25, 2007

Ten Absolutely Stupid Quotes By Steve Ballmer

Steve Ballmer has been the CEO of Microsoft since year 2000. As you probably know, he is a bit eccentric guy. So far Steve has produced dozens of absolutely "outstanding" quotations which definitely should be known. So, here is the list of Steve Ballmer's most famous quotes. Have fun ;)
  1. "I'm going to f---ing bury that guy, I have done it before, and I will do it again. I'm going to f---ing kill Google." [Sydney Morning Herald]
  2. "Developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers, developers..." [Watch at YouTube]
  3. "Linux is a cancer that attaches itself in an intellectual property sense to everything it touches." [Chicago Sun-Times]
  4. "My children - in many dimensions they're as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I've got my kids brainwashed: You don't use Google, and you don't use an iPod." [money.cnn.com]
  5. "We've had DRM in Windows for years. The most common format of music on an iPod is "stolen"." [The Register]
  6. "I have never, honestly, thrown a chair in my life." [CNET News]
  7. "Google's not a real company. It's a house of cards." [Court transcript]
  8. "There's no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance." [unsourced]
  9. We don't have a monopoly. We have market share. There's a difference. [unsourced]
  10. DRM is the future. [unsourced]

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83 comments:

virens said...

And he don`t jokes. He needs a good psychiatrist.

Oleg Smetanin said...

I think you're right. That guy is insane..

Expert said...

And Ballmer's not that bad, he's done some stupid stuff and he's probably not the best choice for the companies figurehead..but he's by no means an idiot.

Unknown said...

With the amount of money he has?!?

Sign me up for crazy right now.


In an all realistic sense, Linux can never do what Windows does,and thats Standardize. What ignorant people fail to realize is that Windows and Microsoft have generated enormous industries that have provided priceless amount of income and economic growth. Some people fail to make the connection between Linux, open source and socialism. Sure great things come from it...but if you do great things...you rarely see the fruits of your labor.

Joe W said...

what the hell is his problem with Google anyway?

Maybe it is because they managed to do something MS couldn't. That is Deliver a product that users actually liked and didn't need (yahoo and MS searches worked ok) and make money off it while not charging the average user anything other than some ads that few people mind seeing

Jerry Federspiel said...

thermalzeal, I assume that the irony of your remark is unintentional.

For commercial software to remain irreplaceable, its protocols of storage and communication (e.g. file formats) must remain opaque. For open software developers to work together, their protocols must be transparent.

The standards of proprietary software are de facto standards- standards merely by the historical coincidence that they are in heavy use.

ilovenicotine said...

@Thermalzeal

tell that to google, the world's largest internet company. they seem to love open source "socialism"

juarezj said...

Good list. I would have included the time he said Microsoft is "more popular than Jesus."

Oleg Smetanin said...

juarezj, this is a great quote! Where did you get it?

Anonymous said...

"We've had DRM in Windows for years. The most common format of music on an iPod is "stolen".

I lol'd

Mackenzie said...

Thermalzeal,
Please note that Microsoft breaks backwards-compatibility in every new edition of Microsoft Office. There is no standard to it. Open Document Format is backwards-compatible. It is also an open standard. Any program can implement and use it freely. It is a viable standard for exactly that reason. It is future-proof. Ten or twenty years from now, because they are open standards, open document will still be readable. Microsoft's formats? No. They will still have their format, yes, but it will be different. A file made with Word 95 or Office 97 will not be able to be read. That is why lawyers use Corel Word Perfect and not Microsoft Word. Corel, like the open source world, understands how to keep compatibility. Oh, and Microsoft has a very good reason for changing their way of doing things constantly: it forces you to upgrade. Word 2003 users can't read files from the new Office 2k7. Oh, well, better go pay another $300 to Microsoft just so you can share documents with other people. Screw that.

Mackenzie said...

Thermalzeal,
Please note that Microsoft breaks backwards-compatibility in every new edition of Microsoft Office. There is no standard to it. Open Document Format is backwards-compatible. It is also an open standard. Any program can implement and use it freely. It is a viable standard for exactly that reason. It is future-proof. Ten or twenty years from now, because they are open standards, open document will still be readable. Microsoft's formats? No. They will still have their format, yes, but it will be different. A file made with Word 95 or Office 97 will not be able to be read. That is why lawyers use Corel Word Perfect and not Microsoft Word. Corel, like the open source world, understands how to keep compatibility.

Oh, and Microsoft has a very good reason for changing their way of doing things constantly: it forces you to upgrade. Word 2003 users can't read files from the new Office 2k7. Oh, well, better go pay another $300 to Microsoft just so you can share documents with other people. And then, when you upgrade, your old stuff stops working. When you go from an old version of Word to a new one, your templates break. No good can come of their need to break things. At least, no good for users; plenty of good for Microsoft's shareholders comes of it.

maven said...

"People say 'I'm going to MSN you' in Holland and Korea..." (taken from quote #6, the CNET interview)

Really?

Truthspew said...

Ballmer really is a horses ass. And I just bet his kids use an iPod behind his back.

I used to be Windows guy until my exposure to a PowerBook. My next machine will be a MacBook.

And I do use Linux, as well as MySQL, Apache and PHP. A pox on you Ballmer.

Unknown said...

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Repawn said...

to Jerry.

Google essentially tamed the web - The web before Google was terrible - trying to find things was difficult and annoying - yes, there were search engines - but none of them were any good. MS search and Yahoo search pretty much came up after Google search. At the time Google was doing search everyone was still working on the portal page system.

darolew said...

> Some people fail to make the connection between Linux, open source and socialism.

And most people who connect "open source" (I prefer the term free software) to socialism are missing a key point: software is digital data.

When a farmer grows corn, only one person can have that corn. In capitalism, the farmer keeps the corn, and eats or sells it. In pure socialism, the corn gets taken by the community/government, and everyone eats it; but the farmer doesn't get to keep his corn.

Software isn't corn; it's not a physical object. You can donate your code to the community by making it free software, but you still get to keep the code for yourself and use it as you see fit.

That's why free software/open source works, but socialism doesn't.

blblack said...

Chris:

Google didn't invent search, they didn't even invent "good" search. And Yahoo predates them, so get your timeline right.

Altavista used to be the cutting edge once too.

Google just brought a new algorithm to the table thatmade incremental improvements. Their success lies in how they conducted their business rather than in the search technology itself.

Gauhar Kachchhi said...

Gotta give credit to this guy...


He gives so much content for press releases... :-)

Jeremy Joseph said...

I'm Dutch and when people say
"We'll MSN" means, they're going to chat on MSN Messenger.

Never once have I heard people use that expression. MSN SUCKS as a search engine and it sucks as an ISP....I remember the days when Windows 95 was cool and their MSN internet service was a PREMIUM.....

/pc user

sakjur said...

Sucker :D

hhuerta said...

To Mackenzie:

If you download the FREE plugin for Office 2003 you can open and work with Office 2007 without hassle

To creativename:

So you are saying that intellectual properties are no good because you can touch them?
Imagine that! What would happen to songwriters, writers, teachers, scientifics, chemists, mathematicians, etc.

I don't *want* to blog said...

Hector said... FREE plugin

BLOAT

Hector said... intellectual properties are no good because you can touch them?

No, creativemind said that intellectual properties can be used by more than one person... and in the case of open source, can be donated to the people of the world.

non-open source intellectual properties can be used by more than one person at a time also...

A3 said...

I for one, would love to see Steve Jobs and Steve Ballmer fight to the death.

SAI said...

Personally I think that access to info and culture should be free for everyone, including songs. Wich shouldn't be legal (and in fact this is the actual situation in countries like Spain, where I live) is taking economic profit from this, like downloading and burning music cds and selling them).
Anyway, I don't see socialism here (really, socialism is a VERY DIFFERENT thing, for those who easily come up with that word), I just see how things should be done for and by everyone (not just by developers developers developers developers developers developers.... :D )

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Definitely not Newton said...

To Hector,

Quoting Hector

"To creativename:

So you are saying that intellectual properties are no good because you can touch them?
Imagine that! What would happen to songwriters, writers, teachers, scientifics, chemists, mathematicians, etc."

As a scientist (not a scientific) I should say that I do not sell my research, and no scientific community whatsoever has kept knowledge behind locked doors to sell it to economically privileged people.

Songwriters and singers can go to hell. When a disco owner buys an original CD and plays it to millions of people it does not become a copyright issue but when I stumble across the song file over someone else's computer and copy it, it is suddenly piracy.

If data is there lying out in the open I have the right to take it. It is just like finding money on the street.

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When Vista came out I purchased what I thought was a really nice Sony Vaio with Vista Home Premium and was really horrified what a slow piece of crap Vista made this nice premium system.  Now I hear that Windows 7 is coming out that is supposed to fix all the Vista problems but Microsoft is charging a huge amount of money to fix their screw up.

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Why can't they take responsible for their mess and fix it for free or for a nominal amount of money.  No wonder people are fleeing to Mac and Linux.  I have already made the switch to Linux myself but can't get the wife to but I may force her because of this absolutely outrageous greedy behavior by these very sick people

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